The Quiet Panic
It’s been years since I decided to start blog… my favorite feel and distractions always got in the way. But today, I feel like I’m finally back
Today… I could hear my own heartbeat as I am writing this. My KEDARNATH journal has been waiting for me to finish it, but I was caught in routines. And yet, today of all days when the doors of Kedarnath sleeps for the year, my soul awakens in its silence...
I don’t know why words feel too small today. Maybe because how do you describe something that feels larger than life itself?
The day, the moment I met Shivan will never come again, not in the same way, not with the same breath. I used to think I only missed Him, the moment I said goodbye there… but… today I feel something beyond missing and i find myself asking what did I do to deserve feeling His presence and still question His plan?
We take life for granted, live like everything is permanent - the plans, the promises, the happiness, even the pain. But in front of Shivan, none of it feels real. I feel Him with me now… and as the temple closed its doors I prayed even after my death, may He stay within me. I don’t know where this sudden fear comes from but I only wish to feel Shivan everywhere, in every breath, beyond time, beyond life…
And it’s my dad’s birthday today…remembering him and i know he is in safer hand. Happy birthday papa..
Om Namah shivaya…